Let's Talk | Blaming the Victim in Say You'll Remember Me by Katie McGarry

Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault  (Unwanted Groping) and Sexual Harassment 


A couple weeks ago, I read Katie McGarry's Say You'll Remember Me. I've read other books my McGarry and enjoyed them, and I thought I would enjoy her newest release. Unfortunately, I was taken aback by how McGarry handled instances of sexual assault and harassment. I am shocked that such blatant victim blaming was allowed in the book, and that the sexual assault and harassment were used as mere plot devices for the two leads to become closer. 

One of the most blatant examples of victim blaming comes halfway through the audiobook, when Ellison, the main character, is sexually groped by a politician at an event. When she leaves the room to take a breath of air, she is chastised by one of her peers, Andrew, for interacting with the man who assaulted her. Andrew tells her that Ellison should have known better, and shouldn't have talked to the assaulter. First, the assaulter approached her, and she didn't know how to get out of the situation, considering that the attacker was in a power of position, and was potentially financing Ellison's father's run for senate. Then, after Andrew leaves, her love interest, Hendricks, comes up. When the approach the topic of Ellison's assault, he says, "That asshole touched you, and you let him." Ellison, in her inner thoughts, concedes to this point, stating how she did not verbally or physically protest the groping. In these interactions, readers are told that it is their fault if they are assaulted. The message in these scenes are clear: Ellison should have known better, and because she didn't verbally or physically protest, she is at fault for her own assault. The way this was handled was, frankly, horrifying. We should never put any of the blame on victims, no matter the situation, and I'm surprised that through rounds of edits that the assault was handled better.

Before this scene, a pattern of sexual harassment and assault against Ellison was established. Early in the book, Ellison goes to a fair. She was supposed to be with Andrew (aforementioned peer), but because they don't get along, they went their separate ways. While she was walking through the fair, she is followed by a pair of college men who taunt her. They first tell her how beautiful she is, and when she doesn't give them any attention, they begin to tell her what they want done to them sexually, and grab their crotches. Ellison eventually gets away from them, only for them to later follow her. At this point, Ellison has met Hendricks, her love interest. Hendricks helps Ellison, and is labeled a hero. From there on, Hendricks wants to continue to be Ellison's hero. When she is sexually assaulted at the aforementioned party, Hendricks' remarks being jealous that Andrew swooped in, claiming that he wanted to be Ellison's hero. This situation is problematic for a few reasons, as detailed below.

1. Ellison's sexual assault and harassment are plot points that allows Hendricks, the male love interest, to be a hero. The attention is not on what Ellison is experiencing and how the actions of the three men are horrific, but on how wonderful and valiant Hendricks is. This shows that Katie McGarry isn't adding in the sexual assault and harassment to make a statement on today's society, but is adding it in as a plot point to further along the romantic relationship of the two protagonists. 
2. Hendrick's is labeled as a "hero," for doing something morally just. Men shouldn't be applauded for doing something decent, like interfering when someone is being harassed or assaulted. Yes, it is great that Ellison was able to remove herself from both situations with the help of others, but we shouldn't commend others for doing what should be expected, which is to help in any way they can. 
3. Since a pattern of harassment and assault was established a the fair scene, and then later when Ellison remarks that she had called her brother in the past when something similar happened to her before, it is even more troubling that Ellison and others put the blame on her. Hendricks says he wants to be her hero, as he was labeled after the fair incident, and yet he blames Ellison the next time something similar happens. By having Hendricks labeled as a hero, readers are more likely to disregard his later response, or even think it is appropriate. 

This past year, there has been a rising conversation on sexual assault, whether in Hollywood, the political sphere, or everyday life. While strides are being made, books like Say You'll Remember Me are flying under the radar despite the problematic content. The novel has a 3.99 average rating on goodreads, and a large majority of the reviews love Ellison and  Hendricks' relationship. As reviewers, I believe it is our responsibility to call out novels for their problematic content, in hopes of bettering the community, the books we read, and the morals they teach. There are young adult novels that have much healthier relationships, and I urge you to look elsewhere if you want to read a contemporary romance. 

Have you read Say You'll Remember Me? What did you think? Let's discuss!

Thanks so much for stopping by, and I'll see you soon with another post!

Happy Reading!

Genni @ Ready, Set, Read!